I walk a lonely road

I remember the days when I was in school, when I was young, when I was happy. 24 hours went by in a jiffy. Before you knew it was already night and time to sleep. Things around us kept us on our toes so much so that we dint have the time and inclination to reflect within. And thank god we dint. The world that we were a part of was so small. My world was confined within my colony. School, home and play ground. That’s it. That was all I knew. Sadly then I grew up and my borders began to expand. My world grew bigger and bigger until I was done with my graduation. Ostensibly growth of borders with respect to happiness was a forward exponential graph. And therefore happiness also descends when borders starts shrinking. That was a revelation for which I was not prepared and had to face its consequences. As my world started narrowing, my inner antennas were alerted and gave me a heck of a time within. I slept every night with millions of questions unanswered and billions of random nasty thoughts that haunted. I was tired, I was exhausted and after a day’s work all I wanted was a good sleep and here I was barred from it. 

I decided to take a week off and go somewhere alone and sought things out with myself and then begin my process fervently and hope for peace. With immense resolve, I discovered that the root of all that I was feeling was the thread I tied to different people and circumstances knowingly and unknowingly. Either the thread was complexly entangled or tied to a wrong person all together. Both are equally hazardous to one’s life. And then in one of those nights in solitude I accidentally went through this poem by William Blake named poison tree and the doors of my deluded mind opened for good.

A poison tree is a very basic message for maintaining loving relationship through communication. The key is to communicate. The poem’s first lines goes “I was angry with my friend; I told my wrath, my wrath did end …I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow”. Such a simple way to express a profound truth. When you feel something and you have the common sense and the courage to express that feeling to our loved ones, the rage and the fury disappear, almost as if by magic.

My inclination in the past has often been to stay silent when I feel angry. I admit to wanting to stew about it, play it over and over in my mind, where I have extended dialogues with the person I feel angry towards. As long as I take this position of freezing out my loved ones or friends, the wrath persists. Yet when it finally does come out and we are able to communicate about it, expressing our authentic feelings, regardless of how absurd they may sound to the other person, magically and almost instantaneously the fury subsides. “Was angry with my foe, told not and wrath did grow” this is precisely the lesson that I have had to learn, I admit to still working on it each and every day. 

In past relationships I created foes out of those I loved the most. The moment I made them foes, I kept my wrath inside, playing intellectual games with myself, and creating an unbelievably complex scenario that only I was privy to. Thus the inclination to keep my wrath within, unexpressed, allowed me to create the poison tree. I would rather water it with my tears and sun it with my deceitful smiles. And the result? It would continue to grow it and bear fruits. And the fruits are definitely poisonous. It does not only apply to personal relationships, but in dealing with everyone in your life. Anytime you feel that spark go off inside you, and your wrath begins to grow, you are headed to a potential morass. The way out of that potential morass is to stop and make that person a friend rather than a foe. I think honesty and no nonsense statement will put the wrath aside and inhibit the growth of a poison tree that will ultimately destroy you.

Similarly in close relationships, when you feel something like anger, practice mustering up the courage to say how you feel without being abusive or loud. I have found that when I give the silent treatment the anger doesn’t subside. In fact, it grows worse because both of us are growing our own poison tree inside because we have made foes of each other. When we sit down and express how am feeling and what exactly my disappointments are, it generally leads to an open discussion in which we both get to express ourselves and ends with a hug. I don’t believe in the world famous statement that everyone use to console themselves “time will heal”. By not communicating we only nurture the wrath rather than killing it. 

The initial steps would be difficult, could be weird as well, probably the other person won’t like it and perhaps the relation could go worse. Thinking rationally about a problem will make you silent and passive and indifferent, and with distorted peace. In a relationship it’s not about of who is right or wrong, rational or irrational, it’s about who’s life and peace.  Rationality at the cost of one’s peace makes absolutely no sense. Especially with such a complex and difficult domain of life called relationship where there is no thumb rule or fixed check points to cross. Each one has his own race to run. It is a paradox. I am sure it takes courage to take the first step, but the point is you have nothing to lose, the worst that can happen has already happened. What more are you afraid to lose?

It is inevitable in any partnership for two people to have conflict. I often express my feeling that in any relationship in which two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary. Your soul mate is often a person who is most unlike you, the one who can push the buttons that send you into frenzy. That person is your soul mate precisely because of this power. When you find yourself in a fury, the person you perceive as causing it is your greatest teacher at that moment. That person is teaching you something that you have not yet mastered yourself, that you still do not know how to choose peace as that button is being pushed. 

The way to that absolute peace is to tell your friend or your lover or your child or your parent or your mother in law exactly how you feel. Do this from a position of being detached and honest and watch how your wrath disappears. You will have removed entirely the possibility of nurturing and producing a poison tree. The more you can create an atmosphere of open honesty, particularly regarding areas of disagreement, the less likely disagreements will become disagreeable. It is in the time of being disagreeable that a seedling sprouts and eventually nourishes a poison tree.

Delusion !

We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears, our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain; when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we ever imagined it. Sooner or later, if intelligent one realizes that all the wealth acquired, all the objects of pleasure procured, all the relationships maintained, name and fame gained, work done, achievements accomplished, none of them has any relevance to the inner actual peace and joy lived. The entire life then seems an empty struggle a futile exertion, a meaningless mission. No one really can describe or be sure as to what that inner peace is. It has to be experienced, it is something very personal, and something that is so short lived and still has the capacity to cure a disease. It had been a long time since I had tasted it; I almost forgot something like that ever existed. An outright attempt to search capture that peace began and this part of my life is called ‘taking blows’, the time when endurance gets tested, the same time when one knows his real self. This is that phase in life which is very common and I presume it’s extremely essential too. I was internally annihilated; every positive emotion that my skin had to display to the conventional world outside had a deep root of defiled chaos within. It was terrible. It was as if life told me “sorry boss! You do what you want; I have nothing good for you”. It was gloomy.

Amidst all succeeding people around in their own way it was even more difficult to carry myself through. I desperately wanted to shield my inner self, and at the same time on the other side I wanted to shout what I am actually feeling but somehow controlled every nerve. During this contemplative period I reckoned how different human beings are and how the hell did god or someone design it? No two thoughts between us ever match (unless you pretend to), still there exist harmony and understanding and compatibility amongst us. The very nature of humans to find a complete set structure in between extensive chaos is a miracle in its own sense. No explanation. It is.

I was terribly rejected by everyone. I was opposed for every thought raised. I was denied for every wish asked. I was ignored for every idea shared. In short I was eliminated. I obviously didn’t intend to give up and run away to eternity, which was not going to get me anywhere but into more misery. So I thought of giving it another shot, a shot that will be taken seriously, a shot that will be respected, a shot that may be in retrospect that would make some sense and might amount to something.

Life around is too complicated. Every single opinion in any context were turned and twisted to satisfy emotions and self esteem and respect and I don’t know what not is required for ones contentment. This complication has another consequence apart from an illusion called contentment which is called ‘chaos’ which in reality has a much higher probability of occurrence than the former. Why to resort for a long route when there is a small and simple one.  Missing somebody?? Call, Want to meet up?? Invite, Want to be understood? Explain, Have questions??Ask, don’t like something?? Say it, like something?   State it, Want something?  Ask for it, Have doubts? Clarify, Love someone??  Tell it. How difficult is it to put these into actual realistic practice. Why the unnecessary complications and chaos. Confrontation always helps.

The other gloomy thing that made me reflect very easily unto myself is the unwavering indifference that suddenly radiated from people because of certain inexplicable reasons. An invisible hand just slaps on your face and runs away without looking back. The latest trend for indifference that one shows is when he ‘gets into a new relationship in the context of love’. Oh my god! Now the numerous complications that comes with it is bizarre. I really feel there shouldn’t be any personal relationships formed between 2 people amongst a bunch of good friends who flock together. It defeats the very purpose. If it s a third person altogether, then bang on. It will add a new flavor, a new aroma among others too. If it is someone amongst them, it brings sense of emotional separation; suddenly things get personal and confidential. Trust domain suddenly forms a new range. Pretence, superficiality, conventional rules etc suddenly becomes so important. It is all the more disturbing when you see such a couple make love before you. Sigh!! Plight! They are friends’ right, every time you see them again a wrong and disturbing picture forms in your head. Some friends are addictive by nature. The thing about addiction is that it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly it hurts us, letting go hurts even worse. How does one get through then? A terrible war had to be fought with the self. But some wars are never over, some end in an uneasy truce. Some wars result incomplete and total victory. Some war end with peace offering and some war end in hope, but all these wars are nothing compared to the most frightening war of all, the one you yet have to fight. The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain, they connect us even after it seems better to break off. Some defy distance, time and logic because some ties are simply meant to be.

There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins, to find hope, where there seems to be absolutely nothing at all. We constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves so we change, we adapt, and we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to make sure that this one is better than the last.

Thus when the world rejects you, its life’s way of asking you to be alert and get up from your slumber and act. Nothing in this world remains the same and hence no happiness is permanent. “Once upon a time”, “happily ever after”, the stories we tell and wish for ourselves are that of a dream. They don’t come true. Reality is much stormier, much murkier, and much scarier. It’s so much more interesting than living happily ever after.

Shetty Kutty

Sometimes actions seem inept to convey some feelings. Sometimes, the genuineness of our lauds need the stability of words. A personality so amiable that all the unpleasant situations around you somehow turn themselves around to bring out the best in your life. So here I share this eulogy about one such person who means a lot to me and definitely many more. With my heart getting heavier and heavier every minute with emotions that is just waiting to jump out in joy and celebration. I now see you finish three decades on this earth and still feels like we just met yesterday playing badminton or hogging in some restaurant in the city or brain storming about how to mould a kid for his betterment.

"Bharuuuuuu " this sound rang my ears 5-10 times day in all the different tones and modulations one could do.  To give minute by minute update about the day, conference calls for hours in a day just because the office paid the bills. oh ! How can I forget those days and those boisterous moments. The laughter at 'Papa Jones ' that night still vividly reverberates  in my ears. From Bandra to CST to Thane to Goregaon, we have laughed away to glory no matter where we were. Those moments are thoroughly etched into my 'memories' system, and I am still hungry for more. I just can't help but smile, even now as I am writing about it.

Behind every successful man, is a trail made of determination, a path of overcoming failures, and immense courage and sincerity to win over all odds. A grand salute to you, a young achiever whose company can give me no pains or sorrows, whose presence and  wit is enough to bring to light and happiness and perhaps make Manmohan Singh open his mouth and laugh. Ahh... i cannot find a better day to showcase the various reasons why the world admires you. You truly deserve every bit of your 'relative' success and the continuous praises in order to constantly increase the number of feathers on your cap.

Known you for a considerable amount of time now and i feel truly blessed to have a company like yours, to know the depth sportsman spirit that you carry with the crazy things that you do for united and cff. The real you who knows the art of getting the best out of people, who then have made something fruitful with their lives is just remarkable. The constant comparison in all the possible arenas of life that one makes with you very often; makes me just wonder the amount of strength you gather to come parallel to the person whom you revere.

The perfect combination that makes me grow more in respect for you is your identical passion for work and teaching. A fun-loving teacher, who somehow manages to make a subject like science and  electronics so interactive, pleasing and gratifying that one  makes a career out of it. The efforts that you put in selflessly into teaching is the one thing that stands out. Applause !! And of-course the highlight of your life  are the crazy fans, the ridiculous comments and the bizarre that goes with it. How do you keep yourself grounded to an extent like this and maintain a constant smile, even after getting praised so much?. Only you are destined to handle this.

The sun is out and I look forward to a new year of rewarding your exceptional talent. And i can only make a wish that the success is not ephemeral and that u illuminate all the young minds who feel blessed to have their association with you. Your lively and merry nature well-balanced and organized with your personality as also with the things you do makes u a class apart!! You truly are a super enthusiastic human being who brings a whole range of diverse talents to the project you are connected with. May you get the ample strength to recharge your batteries, recruit some fresh blood and prepare yourself for another fantastic year of celebrating your achievements. I do cherish and will always be thankful to receive the importance from you that i do now. I always will treasure you advices, your ideas and your believes and strategies that make me live with so much ease today. And there was no better way to express my greatest gratitude and appreciation for the same..apart from this.

With an grieving heart I would like to apologize with all sincerity and with  at most veracity for all troubles and ruthless immaturity that I have shown you. My heart now aches when unprecedented love and care is rewarded with arrogance and egocentric desires. I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize for all the shortcomings on behalf of my dearest  counterparts. You and I know them very well. It will take time for them to make peace with it, am sure they will express it soon.

With tears in my eyes I would like to express my deepest, heartfelt gratitude to you for all that you have given. I still have not figured out how I am going to return it all to you, hope someday I will perhaps with interest.

Personally, this is To one of my favorite people in the world,
I wish you more gifts to open and more cakes to eat, More candles to blow, and of course, More birthdays to come. Happy birthday brother!! Cheers!!!

Baby, we're not done yet !

I was in the 4th grade when i realised i have developed a feeling of wanting to spend the rest of my life with. When i told this to my friend they said i had a 'CRUSH' on her and eventually they associated the poor girl for every little change in me. I some how dint like that word 'crush' and felt like crushing them when they uttered it. I then decided not to reveal such emotions and knew how it is to be crushed by a bunch of crushers who dint apparently have any crushes. We indians are brilliant in magnifying things. I then knew how a small feeling becomes a news to gossip in the environment for atleast a month. I also witnessed some of the magnificent stories told which otherwise could never be true.

It was around that period when i came to know a friends sister is going to marry and guess what it was a love marriage. The systematic protocols taken to convince each other's parents and the process of selecting various other marriage parameters like place, style, invitations and the most important honeymoon etc was done. It then took almost a year for them to actually tie the knot. And here i was just developed a mere crush. I was petrified. I looked around and i thought i was just not meant for all this. I wowed to never get married and had bet this with many people and sadly people remember it.

With time passing by i comprehended if there has to be something eternal it has to be love and if there is one common thing throughout your life that is the role of relationships. Imagine a world where only you are alive and nothing else. Sad isnt it ?. Life is all about relationships you accept or don't this is the truth. And the only beam that hold the pillars of two people in a relationship is love. Theeasiest way i knew to get the relationship right is to get the love right.

The current scenario is somehow is not pleasing to my eyes and surely morally not acceptable. Words like love and relationship has no value anymore, the feeling of love is no more felt, the trust in the relationship has been buried. We talk about brotherhood and integrity in almost all the social subjects and haven't applied an iota of it. What is the use of an education system which does not teach us love? We are taught to tackle exams, why aren't we taught to tackle the intense complexity in a relationships. People even afford to end their lives in the name of love and broken relationships, sickening isn't it ?. A broken relationship has become so common in fact has become a style statement, sounds cool right ? All cool people break up once and say " oh ya its just not working out ". The whole concept has become a norm, a regulation, a duty. Say relationship rules. If you abide by it you are in love. If you fail to abide by it then you are not in love. And hence the various other degrees of symptoms of love and the intensity is defined within this bandwidth. Sometimes when i sit back and think about this. I feel we are somehow slaved to one another. Slaved to the rules and norms that is supposed to be followed. We bring in enormous concentration on what is to be done rather than how it is to be done. Right from remembering dates, buying the right gifts at the right time from the right place to the right person, communicating at least for 20 hrs a day, behaving in the right manner so as the world comes to know that we are in love. Oh it has become ridiculous. Love and relationship has now become an outward emotion for the world to see. Sigh !!

With the last few weeks spent in listening to the various stories of my near and dear ones breaking relationships only made me reflect on the very essence of this emotion. With a aching heart i sat in contemplation every day and tried to infer, what it takes to own such an emotion? When can we do justice to it ? Is there any types of love ? What is all about?.

No activity in human life is taken up with so much sincerity and elaborate preparation as in man's search for joy of love, and yet no enterprise of man fails so constantly, with such regularity, as his quest for love. He helplessly waits and wants to receive love and so in process ends up in disappointment. With the world that i have seen i categorise love into 2 dominant parts i.e lower love and higher love.

The love that leaves us with agitation in our mind is lower love, and the love that leaves us with profound peace and joy is higher love. In this true love, every action and sacrifice you make towards the object of you love reduces your egocentric desires and calms the agitation in your mind. Thus higher love can alone help us come out of our sense of incompleteness and alienation. The lower love is merely an escape from a persons sense of loneliness. Without this protection a person feels lonely, isolated and helpless. Such people demand love and cannot give love. Such a person depends entirely on other objects : his home, work, money, relations etc. with these he creates a prison for himself and ever willingly suffers in it. The lower love is passive and the higher love in dynamic. The higher love is not waiting to be loved by others. He is not a beggar of love. His dynamic love floods forth from its heart and in its irresistible onward dash, it breaks all walls around others, storms into their hearts and therein seeks and discovers a blissful fusion of oneness. The lover ennobles the beloved and at the  same time retains his own individuality. In such a dynamic blessed love the two become one and still neither dominates the other, nor is anyone rendered a victim of the other. In dynamic love, it is a wilful " dashing on " to love, rather than an unconscious accidental " falling into" love. True loving is not a passive taking, but a dynamic giving.

This idea of giving is often dreaded and misunderstood as a giving up of something , a painful renunciation, a state of being deprived of everything pleasant. But actually it is giving up of all anxiety to enjoy the fruits of the actions. Love when is true and unconditional, is its own reward. Very few realise it, none dare to live it. Some of us love only if we are loved in return. That is, we give love in payment for the love received. This is a commercial attitude, an indian shopkeeper mentality.
Hence to give love is freedom , to demand it is slavery. Love lives the joy , lust only seeks it.

Scientists only know what love does and not what love is. Love can empty our asylums, perhaps all our prisons, may be all our hospitals too. Most people suffer due to lack of love. Love to humans is what the sun is to the flowers.

Now when i encounter anybody, i have only one thought in my mind
"With all the millions and billions of people who stepped into this world, fate brought you and me together, there's got to an explanation".

Do not fall in love, rise in love.

and no matter what ...we'd be together ...!!!

The real happiness in life comes from the inner strength. Delving into the depths of philosophy is no mean entertainment. Entertainment did i say? I meant realization. The one that often comes from the truths of life but we subconsciously try to dismiss it. It is only when we share it with the best people in our lives that we realize the real meaning of it. And such are the people I refer to as friends....who have the ability to give an "I can face it" attitude to life. And yet at the same time I feel the joy of an achievement and the pang of a disappointment with equanimity. It is then that I decipher the true meaning for my existence on the planet.

At the incipient stage....only when we started to play the real character with holistic capabilities and a slight touch of honesty, did we realize that we have started enjoying the company of each other. As freshers in the journey of friendship, we did make silly promises; the promise to be there for each other no matter night or day, the promise to keep the secrets no matter what they are, the promise to stand up for each other no matter what the cause, the promise to never judge each other no matter all the flaws, the promise to stand up for each other when any one of us is doing something wrong and the promise to remember this when the time is on us, the promise to help each other no matter what the weather and the most significant of all, the promise to keep a promise from then until forever. Today as I see the days that have passed, I realize we have grown older even if it is just by a few years, the friendship has grown, we have grown, we have changed, we have forgotten many things and have kept many things intact, we have even had doubts and sorrows that came along the way only to make us understand that we have managed them very well with the bond just getting stronger every passing day. And it is then that I realize the weightiness of the promises.

Wow,I am always so excited when it comes to thinking about the people who have made a difference to my life and with friends like mine..the difference and effect is not minuscule but magnanimous. And I mean it. The variety in life and the spice to it comes only when you have friends of varying nature who are strong individuals themselves, their quality, mood, attributes, humor, personality and outlook are the things that can cheer you and make you feel at the top of the world. The whimsical and the unreal concept of “Friends forever” has always been a conundrum to me. How is it that people can talk so casually about a concept that we cannot even wrap our minds around!!! But God was kind enough to answer this confound and fanciful thought by gifting my life with friends who mean a world of happiness to me. The journey in the past few years have been simple and sweet with some very talented people by my side. With talent comes their great and detailed understanding of the acquaintanceship we share and the effortless execution of the same with utmost guilelessness and reliability.

There are countless occasions that have some unforgettable memories and this page and my patience, both would not be enough to pen them down. The most difficult and anxious times in our lives bring with it the excitement that runs down the spine and just sends a chill in the entire body. But with the streak of luck always shining, we have had each other by our sides always; during all the adversities faced!!! Such situations would have been awfully wearisome and irritating otherwise. A big appreciation and salute to the spirit that is ever so enthusiastic and lively!!! We deserve an applause,don't we?

I can never let go of a time when I get to appreciate the real expertise and inventiveness that describe my friends the best. They are indeed divergent and distinct...with entirely different interests, varying tastes of music, varying levels of enthusiasm in sports from hockey to cricket to football to badminton to even chess, from having different individual qualities and a sense of achievement, who have won laurels in diverse fields and the list can go on. How fortunate I feel to have shared my life and some of the most memorable moments which such great friends. A humble and gratifying testimonial..!!!!!!

There have been instances of ups and downs. What is life without them!!! These occasions are nature's way of telling us that Life is full of challenges which can pass like a gentle breeze if you have people who are supportive and loving. It did not take me much time to get the picture of this...!!! I take immense pride in stating this and would be dignified if asked to prove the same. This friendship has definitely matured and is ingrained in our hearts with the lucid understanding of all the fundamental terms and individual perception elucidated.

The crazy moments that we have savored have been some of the most lively moments of our life. Remember the movies....!!! We did come out with mixed reviews but surely with a bucket full of laughter. These moments are worth to be cherished; for tomorrow each one of us would be busy in our individual lives. It is this phase of our lives that would act as a big challenge in shaping our careers. The mixed feeling of excitement, anxiety and sadness which accompanies the various shades of success would be the time where our real bonding would play a pivotal role and I am sure with friends so beautifully sound and understanding, this phase would also pass by peacefully. Then would be the time to revive our promises....!!!!!

Like the wind whispering through the trees your spirits lift my soul, teaching me the valuable lessons of life and I wait patiently to grow in the light of your eyes seeking an honest approval, knowing there's comfort in your silent embrace and I listen carefully to what it offers. I relish the joy that I get to see in your laughter and trusting eyes and it gives me a sense of satisfaction. When sadness fills my heart with disappointment and I need protection from the storm, I realize the depth of our friendship sewn together with unbreakable thread and I realize that the fabric only gets better with age. I agree that this has to be handled with care and sometimes it has to rain. I have discovered the beauty of friendship by lessons learnt while dealing with my crazy friends. Its just like a beautiful sky after the storm which has the strength to break free of the clouds and still amaze the world. This friendship shall have no end as the puzzle of my life would remain incomplete ever, without the precious pieces that are by my side today. With loads of love, fervor, adulation, fondness and piety.....I dedicate this to most beautiful people in my life....!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you !!!!

Cheers!!!!!

i love u INSPITE of.......

Believe it or not we all have several love stories revolving around us. Love stories that are purely imaginary and can never come into existence. We associate each such story to a current scenario, and eventually remember whenever it occurs again. Like few songs remind us of a scene we envisaged. Few places we see suddenly make us feel that “we have seen this before”, but don’t know where exactly did we see, but somehow is still familiar. 

Love is such an emotion where inspiration is very easily attained. It is undoubtedly a healer, it has the power to turn al the darkness in life into bright light, and it is one eternal thing we encounter with ease so we try and to stick to it as much as possible. It is not called ignorance when you don’t know what love is, but ignorance is you finding what love is. It is something you can only experience. Like sweetness is the nature of sugar, love is our nature, it is us, and we endorse it. We don’t learn to love, do we? It is one we imbibe on our own, it’s ours. 

The story of Nikhil and Neha is the one that always comes to mind and I wish I undergo something like this in this life time. Nik was 5 feet 9 inches tall was very fair with a nicely toned lean body, looked decent enough, I would rate him a 7/10 i.e. ‘above average’ for his external features. Internally he was a cool ,chilled out and very easy going person, never complicated things too much, never took anything so seriously either and always wanted to live life as it comes. He always aimed at doing something worthwhile with his life. The best quality was his helping nature, no matter what he’s always the first to land up when somebody needs help. On the other side Neha was an extremely attractive girl with the perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect smile, perfect amount of makeup, wore the perfectly matching clothes with the perfect accessories. Needless to say, from men aged 15 to 55 try to grab her attention. She with her extremely sweet tone can even melt Adolf Hitler’s heart. With nil grudges towards each other they both dint actually care about one another. In short they both didn’t exist in each other’s lives. Nik and Neha lived in the same colony, they were batch mates back in school, but never knew each other so closely. Their friend circle in the colony was same and it was a big group and always had a blast when they met and eventually parted with everyone pursuing their careers.

After school Nik and Neha hardly saw or spoke to each other. Nik was doing his engineering and Neha was doing commerce. So life changed and obviously with age comes more responsibility and they both were busy with their own lives and their respective priorities. 

On one rainy day Nik and Neha met on the road and as it was monsoon season in Mumbai Nik was waiting under the shed waiting for the rain to stop. Hours passed by and there was no sign of rain stopping. It was getting darker. Coincidently Neha was coming that way and saw Nik in the shed fretfully waiting and asked him to join her in. They had met after long so the big " hiiiiiiiiiiii" followed with the basic set of questions regarding the family, college,  friends, busy life and lastly "how we were and how we are" were discussed. On the way Nik saw Neha's father with some heavy bags so he instantly offered him some help and delivered all the bags to her house. Neha's dad was always very fond of Nik as Nik and her dad often met during morning jog and they discussed on various topics from politics to sports. They both jelled well and were like minded. 

Neha’s fathers 60th birthday was round the corner so he invited Nik for the party that was organized and asked Neha to make sure that he comes. Neha agreed and left Nik to his apartment and “should keep in touch” promises were made. Nik messaged Neha that night asking about her father’s likes and dislikes on account of which he wanted to buy something for him on his birthday. Nik always wanted be the different one, he wanted to gift something very different. He was confused and he often spoke to Neha to know what others were planning. The amount of work to be done was building; Neha called Nik and asked him to share the load. Nik and Neha got along well and now were almost together throughout the day planning and working and preparing for the party. The time they were not together physically they were on the phone talking to each other. Visibly as they say "chemistry was amazing”. They were too involved into one another and in the process knew every little thing about each other in those 20-30 odd days. The way Neha cared for all his carelessness was diabetic ally sweet. The little fights that used to happen and the way they dealt with even sweeter. It was amazingly pleasant to watch them together. If Karan Johar was around there would be a movie made on them for sure.  The transparency, the openness created a strong bond and eventually brought them close and a kind of intimation in their relationship emerged.    

With time passing soon the day of the party finally arrived, Nik and Neha were on their toes. Last minute purchases, planned the events, called the relatives and friends and made sure all are coming, Neha helped in the cooking, Nik got the hall set up and decorated , they decided over the set of songs to be played and put everything in its place. Neha wore a white gown and looked ravishing, she shone 

 More the halogens in the hall, everyone’s eyes were right on her, but her eyes were searching for someone else. Neha’s restlessness was evident and was calling Nik every 2 minutes and at last Nik arrived. His grey trouser with a black shirt, hair well groomed, clean shaved, was extraordinarily elegant. Neha immediately went and greeted him and demanded a reason for being late. Nik dealt with her well. Neha then introduced him to all her cousins and friends. 

The whole crowd now forced the birthday boy to sing a song, and as expected he sang a classic old number 'yeh shaam mastani' sounded as if his vocal chords just woke after sleeping for 2 to 3 decades. Kishore Kumar would have ended his life if heard this. He also danced or rather tried to move some parts of his body. Everybody then were made to sing one by one and it was Neha’s cousin to sing, he was  well prepared and had got his guitar and flawlessly sang ' knocking on heaven’s door' and also aided many others to sing with some chords. it was time for Nik to sing he was nervous but gathered all his confidence and grabbed the guitar from Neha’s cousin as he had only started learning the instrument and sang ' pehla nasha' which got everyone to a surprise especially Neha, she was mesmerized by the song and she forced him to sing one more and he further won her heart with a melodious ' 'my love' . She now surely fell in love with him. With all the other events followed by an exotic dinner the party came to a close with everyone departing one by one with the last wishes. 

Neha was busy saying good bye to all the guests and Nik was in the corner standing quietly with a glass of water in his hand. The hall was empty now and Nik was about the leave and finally wished uncle and aunty. He and Neha were walking silently towards the exit gate. They both didn’t speak a word and as they say the maximum amount of an emotion is felt in silence. They reached, Nik told her a blank goodbye and half heartedly shook hands, it was all very awkwardly done as if there was something missing in that moment. Neha didn’t speak a word and was in a different world altogether. As soon as Nik turned around and took a step ahead, Neha gathered all her courage and grabbed him and hugged him with all her might. Nik was too shocked to react, but somewhere he was also craving for this and hugged her back. Tears were just gushing down from her eyes and wetting Nik's Louis Philip shirt, she still did not say anything and he almost sensed what was going to come. He was very eager and happy deep inside and wanting to hear it from her. With the continuous flow of thoughts in his mind suddenly Neha planted a kiss on his cheek, indeed was a watery and a ‘tears-full’ kiss, Nik took a while to digest what just happened, and could'nt help but ended up touching her glowing cheeks with his lips. Nik then slowly caught her face and wiped her tears and adjusted her hair. Neha with a melted heart expressed everything she felt and how much she loved him and how complete she feels when he is around. She just expressed everything that she felt. Nik sensed his eyes moist. Falling in love with a beautiful girl is very common, but a beautiful girl expressing her love for you is something I feel unrealistic even in my dreams. 

Nik (sensing how lucky he was) did not waste much time grabbed her face and kissed her with all the love inside him which was just waiting to express itself. The kiss grew deeper with every second. When we even see such a beautiful girl we don’t even waste a nanosecond to blink, kiss is a far dream…ha-ha. The watchmen and the pedestrians were entertained. The beggars stopped begging for a while and were watching this movie. At last they opened their eyes and came back to senses and gathered themselves. He then cajoled her and requested her to ‘walk’ home with him. The tender request from him and rains outside was irresistible and hence she made some excuse to her parents and they started walking. The rain pouring, lonely road, moon light and with the one you intimately love puts a hand around your shoulders, nothing can get better. Am sure they won’t forget this long walk all their life. It was a moment of joy, shower of love; it was lonely yet was as if they had the whole world watching them. It was just perfect!!It was bliss!!!