Wednesday 6 November 2013

Baby, we're not done yet !



I was in the 4th grade when i realised i have developed a feeling of wanting to spend the rest of my life with. When i told this to my friend they said i had a 'CRUSH' on her and eventually they associated the poor girl for every little change in me. I some how dint like that word 'crush' and felt like crushing them when they uttered it. I then decided not to reveal such emotions and knew how it is to be crushed by a bunch of crushers who dint apparently have any crushes. We indians are brilliant in magnifying things. I then knew how a small feeling becomes a news to gossip in the environment for atleast a month. I also witnessed some of the magnificent stories told which otherwise could never be true.

It was around that period when i came to know a friends sister is going to marry and guess what it was a love marriage. The systematic protocols taken to convince each other's parents and the process of selecting various other marriage parameters like place, style, invitations and the most important honeymoon etc was done. It then took almost a year for them to actually tie the knot. And here i was just developed a mere crush. I was petrified. I looked around and i thought i was just not meant for all this. I wowed to never get married and had bet this with many people and sadly people remember it.

With time passing by i comprehended if there has to be something eternal it has to be love and if there is one common thing throughout your life that is the role of relationships. Imagine a world where only you are alive and nothing else. Sad isnt it ?. Life is all about relationships you accept or don't this is the truth. And the only beam that hold the pillars of two people in a relationship is love. Theeasiest way i knew to get the relationship right is to get the love right.

The current scenario is somehow is not pleasing to my eyes and surely morally not acceptable. Words like love and relationship has no value anymore, the feeling of love is no more felt, the trust in the relationship has been buried. We talk about brotherhood and integrity in almost all the social subjects and haven't applied an iota of it. What is the use of an education system which does not teach us love? We are taught to tackle exams, why aren't we taught to tackle the intense complexity in a relationships. People even afford to end their lives in the name of love and broken relationships, sickening isn't it ?. A broken relationship has become so common in fact has become a style statement, sounds cool right ? All cool people break up once and say " oh ya its just not working out ". The whole concept has become a norm, a regulation, a duty. Say relationship rules. If you abide by it you are in love. If you fail to abide by it then you are not in love. And hence the various other degrees of symptoms of love and the intensity is defined within this bandwidth. Sometimes when i sit back and think about this. I feel we are somehow slaved to one another. Slaved to the rules and norms that is supposed to be followed. We bring in enormous concentration on what is to be done rather than how it is to be done. Right from remembering dates, buying the right gifts at the right time from the right place to the right person, communicating at least for 20 hrs a day, behaving in the right manner so as the world comes to know that we are in love. Oh it has become ridiculous. Love and relationship has now become an outward emotion for the world to see. Sigh !!

With the last few weeks spent in listening to the various stories of my near and dear ones breaking relationships only made me reflect on the very essence of this emotion. With a aching heart i sat in contemplation every day and tried to infer, what it takes to own such an emotion? When can we do justice to it ? Is there any types of love ? What is all about?.

No activity in human life is taken up with so much sincerity and elaborate preparation as in man's search for joy of love, and yet no enterprise of man fails so constantly, with such regularity, as his quest for love. He helplessly waits and wants to receive love and so in process ends up in disappointment. With the world that i have seen i categorise love into 2 dominant parts i.e lower love and higher love.

The love that leaves us with agitation in our mind is lower love, and the love that leaves us with profound peace and joy is higher love. In this true love, every action and sacrifice you make towards the object of you love reduces your egocentric desires and calms the agitation in your mind. Thus higher love can alone help us come out of our sense of incompleteness and alienation. The lower love is merely an escape from a persons sense of loneliness. Without this protection a person feels lonely, isolated and helpless. Such people demand love and cannot give love. Such a person depends entirely on other objects : his home, work, money, relations etc. with these he creates a prison for himself and ever willingly suffers in it. The lower love is passive and the higher love in dynamic. The higher love is not waiting to be loved by others. He is not a beggar of love. His dynamic love floods forth from its heart and in its irresistible onward dash, it breaks all walls around others, storms into their hearts and therein seeks and discovers a blissful fusion of oneness. The lover ennobles the beloved and at the  same time retains his own individuality. In such a dynamic blessed love the two become one and still neither dominates the other, nor is anyone rendered a victim of the other. In dynamic love, it is a wilful " dashing on " to love, rather than an unconscious accidental " falling into" love. True loving is not a passive taking, but a dynamic giving.

This idea of giving is often dreaded and misunderstood as a giving up of something , a painful renunciation, a state of being deprived of everything pleasant. But actually it is giving up of all anxiety to enjoy the fruits of the actions. Love when is true and unconditional, is its own reward. Very few realise it, none dare to live it. Some of us love only if we are loved in return. That is, we give love in payment for the love received. This is a commercial attitude, an indian shopkeeper mentality.
Hence to give love is freedom , to demand it is slavery. Love lives the joy , lust only seeks it.

Scientists only know what love does and not what love is. Love can empty our asylums, perhaps all our prisons, may be all our hospitals too. Most people suffer due to lack of love. Love to humans is what the sun is to the flowers.

Now when i encounter anybody, i have only one thought in my mind
"With all the millions and billions of people who stepped into this world, fate brought you and me together, there's got to an explanation".

Do not fall in love, rise in love.

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