i love u INSPITE of.......

Believe it or not we all have several love stories revolving around us. Love stories that are purely imaginary and can never come into existence. We associate each such story to a current scenario, and eventually remember whenever it occurs again. Like few songs remind us of a scene we envisaged. Few places we see suddenly make us feel that “we have seen this before”, but don’t know where exactly did we see, but somehow is still familiar. 

Love is such an emotion where inspiration is very easily attained. It is undoubtedly a healer, it has the power to turn al the darkness in life into bright light, and it is one eternal thing we encounter with ease so we try and to stick to it as much as possible. It is not called ignorance when you don’t know what love is, but ignorance is you finding what love is. It is something you can only experience. Like sweetness is the nature of sugar, love is our nature, it is us, and we endorse it. We don’t learn to love, do we? It is one we imbibe on our own, it’s ours. 

The story of Nikhil and Neha is the one that always comes to mind and I wish I undergo something like this in this life time. Nik was 5 feet 9 inches tall was very fair with a nicely toned lean body, looked decent enough, I would rate him a 7/10 i.e. ‘above average’ for his external features. Internally he was a cool ,chilled out and very easy going person, never complicated things too much, never took anything so seriously either and always wanted to live life as it comes. He always aimed at doing something worthwhile with his life. The best quality was his helping nature, no matter what he’s always the first to land up when somebody needs help. On the other side Neha was an extremely attractive girl with the perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect smile, perfect amount of makeup, wore the perfectly matching clothes with the perfect accessories. Needless to say, from men aged 15 to 55 try to grab her attention. She with her extremely sweet tone can even melt Adolf Hitler’s heart. With nil grudges towards each other they both dint actually care about one another. In short they both didn’t exist in each other’s lives. Nik and Neha lived in the same colony, they were batch mates back in school, but never knew each other so closely. Their friend circle in the colony was same and it was a big group and always had a blast when they met and eventually parted with everyone pursuing their careers.

After school Nik and Neha hardly saw or spoke to each other. Nik was doing his engineering and Neha was doing commerce. So life changed and obviously with age comes more responsibility and they both were busy with their own lives and their respective priorities. 

On one rainy day Nik and Neha met on the road and as it was monsoon season in Mumbai Nik was waiting under the shed waiting for the rain to stop. Hours passed by and there was no sign of rain stopping. It was getting darker. Coincidently Neha was coming that way and saw Nik in the shed fretfully waiting and asked him to join her in. They had met after long so the big " hiiiiiiiiiiii" followed with the basic set of questions regarding the family, college,  friends, busy life and lastly "how we were and how we are" were discussed. On the way Nik saw Neha's father with some heavy bags so he instantly offered him some help and delivered all the bags to her house. Neha's dad was always very fond of Nik as Nik and her dad often met during morning jog and they discussed on various topics from politics to sports. They both jelled well and were like minded. 

Neha’s fathers 60th birthday was round the corner so he invited Nik for the party that was organized and asked Neha to make sure that he comes. Neha agreed and left Nik to his apartment and “should keep in touch” promises were made. Nik messaged Neha that night asking about her father’s likes and dislikes on account of which he wanted to buy something for him on his birthday. Nik always wanted be the different one, he wanted to gift something very different. He was confused and he often spoke to Neha to know what others were planning. The amount of work to be done was building; Neha called Nik and asked him to share the load. Nik and Neha got along well and now were almost together throughout the day planning and working and preparing for the party. The time they were not together physically they were on the phone talking to each other. Visibly as they say "chemistry was amazing”. They were too involved into one another and in the process knew every little thing about each other in those 20-30 odd days. The way Neha cared for all his carelessness was diabetic ally sweet. The little fights that used to happen and the way they dealt with even sweeter. It was amazingly pleasant to watch them together. If Karan Johar was around there would be a movie made on them for sure.  The transparency, the openness created a strong bond and eventually brought them close and a kind of intimation in their relationship emerged.    

With time passing soon the day of the party finally arrived, Nik and Neha were on their toes. Last minute purchases, planned the events, called the relatives and friends and made sure all are coming, Neha helped in the cooking, Nik got the hall set up and decorated , they decided over the set of songs to be played and put everything in its place. Neha wore a white gown and looked ravishing, she shone 

 More the halogens in the hall, everyone’s eyes were right on her, but her eyes were searching for someone else. Neha’s restlessness was evident and was calling Nik every 2 minutes and at last Nik arrived. His grey trouser with a black shirt, hair well groomed, clean shaved, was extraordinarily elegant. Neha immediately went and greeted him and demanded a reason for being late. Nik dealt with her well. Neha then introduced him to all her cousins and friends. 

The whole crowd now forced the birthday boy to sing a song, and as expected he sang a classic old number 'yeh shaam mastani' sounded as if his vocal chords just woke after sleeping for 2 to 3 decades. Kishore Kumar would have ended his life if heard this. He also danced or rather tried to move some parts of his body. Everybody then were made to sing one by one and it was Neha’s cousin to sing, he was  well prepared and had got his guitar and flawlessly sang ' knocking on heaven’s door' and also aided many others to sing with some chords. it was time for Nik to sing he was nervous but gathered all his confidence and grabbed the guitar from Neha’s cousin as he had only started learning the instrument and sang ' pehla nasha' which got everyone to a surprise especially Neha, she was mesmerized by the song and she forced him to sing one more and he further won her heart with a melodious ' 'my love' . She now surely fell in love with him. With all the other events followed by an exotic dinner the party came to a close with everyone departing one by one with the last wishes. 

Neha was busy saying good bye to all the guests and Nik was in the corner standing quietly with a glass of water in his hand. The hall was empty now and Nik was about the leave and finally wished uncle and aunty. He and Neha were walking silently towards the exit gate. They both didn’t speak a word and as they say the maximum amount of an emotion is felt in silence. They reached, Nik told her a blank goodbye and half heartedly shook hands, it was all very awkwardly done as if there was something missing in that moment. Neha didn’t speak a word and was in a different world altogether. As soon as Nik turned around and took a step ahead, Neha gathered all her courage and grabbed him and hugged him with all her might. Nik was too shocked to react, but somewhere he was also craving for this and hugged her back. Tears were just gushing down from her eyes and wetting Nik's Louis Philip shirt, she still did not say anything and he almost sensed what was going to come. He was very eager and happy deep inside and wanting to hear it from her. With the continuous flow of thoughts in his mind suddenly Neha planted a kiss on his cheek, indeed was a watery and a ‘tears-full’ kiss, Nik took a while to digest what just happened, and could'nt help but ended up touching her glowing cheeks with his lips. Nik then slowly caught her face and wiped her tears and adjusted her hair. Neha with a melted heart expressed everything she felt and how much she loved him and how complete she feels when he is around. She just expressed everything that she felt. Nik sensed his eyes moist. Falling in love with a beautiful girl is very common, but a beautiful girl expressing her love for you is something I feel unrealistic even in my dreams. 

Nik (sensing how lucky he was) did not waste much time grabbed her face and kissed her with all the love inside him which was just waiting to express itself. The kiss grew deeper with every second. When we even see such a beautiful girl we don’t even waste a nanosecond to blink, kiss is a far dream…ha-ha. The watchmen and the pedestrians were entertained. The beggars stopped begging for a while and were watching this movie. At last they opened their eyes and came back to senses and gathered themselves. He then cajoled her and requested her to ‘walk’ home with him. The tender request from him and rains outside was irresistible and hence she made some excuse to her parents and they started walking. The rain pouring, lonely road, moon light and with the one you intimately love puts a hand around your shoulders, nothing can get better. Am sure they won’t forget this long walk all their life. It was a moment of joy, shower of love; it was lonely yet was as if they had the whole world watching them. It was just perfect!!It was bliss!!!

ALMA MATER !!!

12^th June invariably every year was a day filled with sadness. Vacations over and school starts. Just the name school was so unpleasant that we associated negativity to it. We then did not know how wrong the notation was because ‘fun’ actually began there. The level of unpredictability was the same but yet ‘unknowingly’ we enjoyed so much that even the little changes what we call uncertainty today was taken with positivity and joy . I think looking back now; I feel that was the best way to deal with it.

Trrriiiinnnnnnggggggggg!!! Bell rang at 7 am and the school starts with 6 pretty girls singing the national anthem. Students belonging to my category mostly sang the national anthem in their dreams, because we have always managed to come late and squeeze in somehow and join the line in between our generous classmates who always allowed us to sneak in. Entering the class we got hold of the ‘least visible place’ so that we could sleep whenever our body commands us to sleep. Except for a few lectures rest were boring because many of the subjects we learnt were irrelevant and could not relate to it.

The physical training sessions were the most awaited time. The little naive arrogance followed the fights while playing, asserting their own versions of rules and knowledge about the game. The half an hour which we got 3 or 4 times a week was the fastest to pass by. The more we are engrossed at a task the more we are oblivious to time and space.

Memories are not done without the vivid friendships. Volley ball during the break was the reason for us to gulp the food in a jiffy.  15 minutes was just not enough for POA that we always had for the break. Whenever you see a glutinous bunch of people together, surely it is the best cuisine of the day. We did all that we couldn’t do otherwise during lectures, going to others classes, eat whatever we see, gossip about a cricket game to the girl in the other class. The sight of the class after the break was putrefied, with food scattered and water spilt all over.  

The sports week was the most awaited event in the year for which we prepared right from the start. Even with the immense rivalry amongst each other we still managed to be the best of the friends after the events. There were times when we did not have players willing to play a game; hence few passionate people like us for whom the sports day meant more than anything ends up playing that sport to save our group. These events inherently had a great bonding power unknowingly we made many good and worthwhile relationships. It had this power of integration. It brought like minded people to venture new avenues. It was joyous, it was fun, and it was a celebration!

The annual day was another such event about which I only have to think and my heart palpitates. We remember every bit of it, from the preparation to the actual event more to arranging food, and to mix music. Annual day was one such event we just waited to let go of ourselves. If there was an emotional graph made for ourselves it was at the peaks during the annual day. Working together was always delightful. The friendships grew stronger and stronger with such events. The girls that we admired only from far and ran the whole story in our head now came into reality. All of a sudden we see few people just desperately wanting to make an impression. The overtime practice we did just to spend some more time with the loved ones. It was the only time where as students we did not congregate for academics and class work and had all the freedom to discuss and ponder upon various aspects of life, so we made best use of it, even better when the loved/desired one was with us.

On the flipside these events also broke a lot of relationships. Some of them made sense and was just meant to be, but some were absolutely obnoxious. Two immensely bonded people broke apart over wrong scoring of the groups. Such was the effect the events like sports day and the annual day had on us. Good healthy relationships were lost over some baseless misconceptions. The strong friendships that broke over a loved one were the worst to ever happen. It was understandable at that point of time as we went the flow, and we were immature. But carrying the load still makes no sense what so ever. The resisting force within us just does not allow going back and save the relationship. Where we had to save friendship and let our ego go, we saved the ego and let our friendship go. ‘Silly and crazy’ as we think of it now.

As I jolt down these memoirs my eyes moist. With a heavy heart full of love and understanding I would like to apologize to everyone whom I have knowingly or unknowingly caused impair. It was not what I intend to.  I will indeed miss school all my life---the ambience, the camaraderie, the feel, the freedom, and much more ….. Every bit of that part of my life will be truly missed. I am indeed lucky to have lived it all without any regrets.

People call it school, we call it life!!