i love u INSPITE of.......

Believe it or not we all have several love stories revolving around us. Love stories that are purely imaginary and can never come into existence. We associate each such story to a current scenario, and eventually remember whenever it occurs again. Like few songs remind us of a scene we envisaged. Few places we see suddenly make us feel that “we have seen this before”, but don’t know where exactly did we see, but somehow is still familiar. 

Love is such an emotion where inspiration is very easily attained. It is undoubtedly a healer, it has the power to turn al the darkness in life into bright light, and it is one eternal thing we encounter with ease so we try and to stick to it as much as possible. It is not called ignorance when you don’t know what love is, but ignorance is you finding what love is. It is something you can only experience. Like sweetness is the nature of sugar, love is our nature, it is us, and we endorse it. We don’t learn to love, do we? It is one we imbibe on our own, it’s ours. 

The story of Nikhil and Neha is the one that always comes to mind and I wish I undergo something like this in this life time. Nik was 5 feet 9 inches tall was very fair with a nicely toned lean body, looked decent enough, I would rate him a 7/10 i.e. ‘above average’ for his external features. Internally he was a cool ,chilled out and very easy going person, never complicated things too much, never took anything so seriously either and always wanted to live life as it comes. He always aimed at doing something worthwhile with his life. The best quality was his helping nature, no matter what he’s always the first to land up when somebody needs help. On the other side Neha was an extremely attractive girl with the perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect smile, perfect amount of makeup, wore the perfectly matching clothes with the perfect accessories. Needless to say, from men aged 15 to 55 try to grab her attention. She with her extremely sweet tone can even melt Adolf Hitler’s heart. With nil grudges towards each other they both dint actually care about one another. In short they both didn’t exist in each other’s lives. Nik and Neha lived in the same colony, they were batch mates back in school, but never knew each other so closely. Their friend circle in the colony was same and it was a big group and always had a blast when they met and eventually parted with everyone pursuing their careers.

After school Nik and Neha hardly saw or spoke to each other. Nik was doing his engineering and Neha was doing commerce. So life changed and obviously with age comes more responsibility and they both were busy with their own lives and their respective priorities. 

On one rainy day Nik and Neha met on the road and as it was monsoon season in Mumbai Nik was waiting under the shed waiting for the rain to stop. Hours passed by and there was no sign of rain stopping. It was getting darker. Coincidently Neha was coming that way and saw Nik in the shed fretfully waiting and asked him to join her in. They had met after long so the big " hiiiiiiiiiiii" followed with the basic set of questions regarding the family, college,  friends, busy life and lastly "how we were and how we are" were discussed. On the way Nik saw Neha's father with some heavy bags so he instantly offered him some help and delivered all the bags to her house. Neha's dad was always very fond of Nik as Nik and her dad often met during morning jog and they discussed on various topics from politics to sports. They both jelled well and were like minded. 

Neha’s fathers 60th birthday was round the corner so he invited Nik for the party that was organized and asked Neha to make sure that he comes. Neha agreed and left Nik to his apartment and “should keep in touch” promises were made. Nik messaged Neha that night asking about her father’s likes and dislikes on account of which he wanted to buy something for him on his birthday. Nik always wanted be the different one, he wanted to gift something very different. He was confused and he often spoke to Neha to know what others were planning. The amount of work to be done was building; Neha called Nik and asked him to share the load. Nik and Neha got along well and now were almost together throughout the day planning and working and preparing for the party. The time they were not together physically they were on the phone talking to each other. Visibly as they say "chemistry was amazing”. They were too involved into one another and in the process knew every little thing about each other in those 20-30 odd days. The way Neha cared for all his carelessness was diabetic ally sweet. The little fights that used to happen and the way they dealt with even sweeter. It was amazingly pleasant to watch them together. If Karan Johar was around there would be a movie made on them for sure.  The transparency, the openness created a strong bond and eventually brought them close and a kind of intimation in their relationship emerged.    

With time passing soon the day of the party finally arrived, Nik and Neha were on their toes. Last minute purchases, planned the events, called the relatives and friends and made sure all are coming, Neha helped in the cooking, Nik got the hall set up and decorated , they decided over the set of songs to be played and put everything in its place. Neha wore a white gown and looked ravishing, she shone 

 More the halogens in the hall, everyone’s eyes were right on her, but her eyes were searching for someone else. Neha’s restlessness was evident and was calling Nik every 2 minutes and at last Nik arrived. His grey trouser with a black shirt, hair well groomed, clean shaved, was extraordinarily elegant. Neha immediately went and greeted him and demanded a reason for being late. Nik dealt with her well. Neha then introduced him to all her cousins and friends. 

The whole crowd now forced the birthday boy to sing a song, and as expected he sang a classic old number 'yeh shaam mastani' sounded as if his vocal chords just woke after sleeping for 2 to 3 decades. Kishore Kumar would have ended his life if heard this. He also danced or rather tried to move some parts of his body. Everybody then were made to sing one by one and it was Neha’s cousin to sing, he was  well prepared and had got his guitar and flawlessly sang ' knocking on heaven’s door' and also aided many others to sing with some chords. it was time for Nik to sing he was nervous but gathered all his confidence and grabbed the guitar from Neha’s cousin as he had only started learning the instrument and sang ' pehla nasha' which got everyone to a surprise especially Neha, she was mesmerized by the song and she forced him to sing one more and he further won her heart with a melodious ' 'my love' . She now surely fell in love with him. With all the other events followed by an exotic dinner the party came to a close with everyone departing one by one with the last wishes. 

Neha was busy saying good bye to all the guests and Nik was in the corner standing quietly with a glass of water in his hand. The hall was empty now and Nik was about the leave and finally wished uncle and aunty. He and Neha were walking silently towards the exit gate. They both didn’t speak a word and as they say the maximum amount of an emotion is felt in silence. They reached, Nik told her a blank goodbye and half heartedly shook hands, it was all very awkwardly done as if there was something missing in that moment. Neha didn’t speak a word and was in a different world altogether. As soon as Nik turned around and took a step ahead, Neha gathered all her courage and grabbed him and hugged him with all her might. Nik was too shocked to react, but somewhere he was also craving for this and hugged her back. Tears were just gushing down from her eyes and wetting Nik's Louis Philip shirt, she still did not say anything and he almost sensed what was going to come. He was very eager and happy deep inside and wanting to hear it from her. With the continuous flow of thoughts in his mind suddenly Neha planted a kiss on his cheek, indeed was a watery and a ‘tears-full’ kiss, Nik took a while to digest what just happened, and could'nt help but ended up touching her glowing cheeks with his lips. Nik then slowly caught her face and wiped her tears and adjusted her hair. Neha with a melted heart expressed everything she felt and how much she loved him and how complete she feels when he is around. She just expressed everything that she felt. Nik sensed his eyes moist. Falling in love with a beautiful girl is very common, but a beautiful girl expressing her love for you is something I feel unrealistic even in my dreams. 

Nik (sensing how lucky he was) did not waste much time grabbed her face and kissed her with all the love inside him which was just waiting to express itself. The kiss grew deeper with every second. When we even see such a beautiful girl we don’t even waste a nanosecond to blink, kiss is a far dream…ha-ha. The watchmen and the pedestrians were entertained. The beggars stopped begging for a while and were watching this movie. At last they opened their eyes and came back to senses and gathered themselves. He then cajoled her and requested her to ‘walk’ home with him. The tender request from him and rains outside was irresistible and hence she made some excuse to her parents and they started walking. The rain pouring, lonely road, moon light and with the one you intimately love puts a hand around your shoulders, nothing can get better. Am sure they won’t forget this long walk all their life. It was a moment of joy, shower of love; it was lonely yet was as if they had the whole world watching them. It was just perfect!!It was bliss!!!

ALMA MATER !!!

12^th June invariably every year was a day filled with sadness. Vacations over and school starts. Just the name school was so unpleasant that we associated negativity to it. We then did not know how wrong the notation was because ‘fun’ actually began there. The level of unpredictability was the same but yet ‘unknowingly’ we enjoyed so much that even the little changes what we call uncertainty today was taken with positivity and joy . I think looking back now; I feel that was the best way to deal with it.

Trrriiiinnnnnnggggggggg!!! Bell rang at 7 am and the school starts with 6 pretty girls singing the national anthem. Students belonging to my category mostly sang the national anthem in their dreams, because we have always managed to come late and squeeze in somehow and join the line in between our generous classmates who always allowed us to sneak in. Entering the class we got hold of the ‘least visible place’ so that we could sleep whenever our body commands us to sleep. Except for a few lectures rest were boring because many of the subjects we learnt were irrelevant and could not relate to it.

The physical training sessions were the most awaited time. The little naive arrogance followed the fights while playing, asserting their own versions of rules and knowledge about the game. The half an hour which we got 3 or 4 times a week was the fastest to pass by. The more we are engrossed at a task the more we are oblivious to time and space.

Memories are not done without the vivid friendships. Volley ball during the break was the reason for us to gulp the food in a jiffy.  15 minutes was just not enough for POA that we always had for the break. Whenever you see a glutinous bunch of people together, surely it is the best cuisine of the day. We did all that we couldn’t do otherwise during lectures, going to others classes, eat whatever we see, gossip about a cricket game to the girl in the other class. The sight of the class after the break was putrefied, with food scattered and water spilt all over.  

The sports week was the most awaited event in the year for which we prepared right from the start. Even with the immense rivalry amongst each other we still managed to be the best of the friends after the events. There were times when we did not have players willing to play a game; hence few passionate people like us for whom the sports day meant more than anything ends up playing that sport to save our group. These events inherently had a great bonding power unknowingly we made many good and worthwhile relationships. It had this power of integration. It brought like minded people to venture new avenues. It was joyous, it was fun, and it was a celebration!

The annual day was another such event about which I only have to think and my heart palpitates. We remember every bit of it, from the preparation to the actual event more to arranging food, and to mix music. Annual day was one such event we just waited to let go of ourselves. If there was an emotional graph made for ourselves it was at the peaks during the annual day. Working together was always delightful. The friendships grew stronger and stronger with such events. The girls that we admired only from far and ran the whole story in our head now came into reality. All of a sudden we see few people just desperately wanting to make an impression. The overtime practice we did just to spend some more time with the loved ones. It was the only time where as students we did not congregate for academics and class work and had all the freedom to discuss and ponder upon various aspects of life, so we made best use of it, even better when the loved/desired one was with us.

On the flipside these events also broke a lot of relationships. Some of them made sense and was just meant to be, but some were absolutely obnoxious. Two immensely bonded people broke apart over wrong scoring of the groups. Such was the effect the events like sports day and the annual day had on us. Good healthy relationships were lost over some baseless misconceptions. The strong friendships that broke over a loved one were the worst to ever happen. It was understandable at that point of time as we went the flow, and we were immature. But carrying the load still makes no sense what so ever. The resisting force within us just does not allow going back and save the relationship. Where we had to save friendship and let our ego go, we saved the ego and let our friendship go. ‘Silly and crazy’ as we think of it now.

As I jolt down these memoirs my eyes moist. With a heavy heart full of love and understanding I would like to apologize to everyone whom I have knowingly or unknowingly caused impair. It was not what I intend to.  I will indeed miss school all my life---the ambience, the camaraderie, the feel, the freedom, and much more ….. Every bit of that part of my life will be truly missed. I am indeed lucky to have lived it all without any regrets.

People call it school, we call it life!!

united !!!

"The culmination of three trophies was the pinnacle of my career and it has been rewarded with a knighthood" - Sir Alex Ferguson...

  Manchester united was gifted with the greatest manager, in the football world . He was brought to old Trafford from Aberdeen way back in 1985-86 when Manchester United football was in a bad shape with no sight of success anywhere close whatsoever. None of the players, staffs and members including the owner had much hopes with the durability of SAF (that is how I would like to call him)...with the club. My love for Manchester united knew no bounds. It all started when I was in 8th grade and we were a group of kids who started playing football in the colony and I always preferred the forward position out of sheer laziness and the joy of putting the ball into the net. Therefore to acquire some wisdom about the game and to improve my skills I gifted myself a football to practice and I did it alone in my apartment, neighbours even laughed looking at me when I used to shout my ass out as I got a move right, as I grew I got hold of handful of tricks and moves which was then used by me to grab some attention. By then my elder brother and his counter parts always debated about which was  the best team  and that’s how I heard all the big names in the world of football but comprehended none. As I always had a zeal about this  sport I started watching it in the TV ...David Beckham, teddy Sheringham, Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs were the players I adored and wished to watch them again and again. So thereby I tuned my TV only to get a glimpse of them, I used to run back home from school to watch the replays of the late night matches…ahh the way they played just amazed me. One of the occasions where they showed why united is what it is --the game against Spurs where we were 3-0 down and the half time whistle rang. Now it surely must have been the most intense 15 mins break as we then bounced back in the second half with 5 goals to win a spectacular game. The most interesting 45 mins I must say just couldn’t get my eyes off the screen. I was then more curious actually to know what the manager must have told the lads in the break. I am still figuring out, surely those timely words  must have been inspiring and  gave a boost to their confidence. 

Ever since then I started to watch United’s matches without fail. One more match I distinctly remember was the FA cup semi final vs. Arsenal. The big fight between Roy keane and Patrick Viera was the highlight of the game and united emerged victorious with Beckham's 40 yard shoot putting the ball in the back of the net, it was display of sheer genius. I loved the trio Roy keane, Beckham and Scholes .It all looked like one big family. Unity in the team was marvelous; all the credit undoubtedly goes to SAF. When I see them play even as much as in the recent times, the calmness in the players is so vivid and the bond that they share is amazing. The sincerity and the veracity which with they approach each and every game is striking and I think that is why they deserve to be the champions.

To get a top performer to perform is not a big deal. To get a young lad into the team and pave way for top class performance requires a vision with perseverance and backing from the staff, coaches, the manager and of course the senior players. This quality in SAF is what I loved the most. Ronaldo and Rooney were small names when they got into United from Sporting and Everton respectively. SAF had such a great impact on these 2 that they are playing a major role in United’s success. They are now the costliest players in the world.   They stand for great fortunes !! Ronaldo calls SAF as his second father. When 2 great people meet with intensity  such  miracles happen.

To mange a club for 26 years and still counting is an outstanding achievement. The number of times he has rebuilt the team, with the goal and vision for the club kept intact, only he could do what he has done. I can get a glimpse of the passion and the love he has for football and Manchester united. Obviously Manchester united loves him too.

If god ever asks me for a last wish. I will undoubtedly wish  to visit the theatre of dreams. I long to see that place. I yearn to inhale that atmosphere, of the champions.  I crave to watch them play live once. I want to shout on the top of my voice when they score a goal. I desire to live that moment for eternity!!

We are now the champions again for the 20^th time and 13 times in SAF’s reign. Van persie was the star of this season. Finishing some crucial games and earning the 3 points gave the required cushion at the end of the season. The best finish was against Man city, where RVP scored in the injury time with a terrific free kick that was indeed the biggest roar that I have ever heard for united. Surely must have broken few glasses around.

United finally lifted the cup with a dramatic goal from Ferdinand (last time he scored was in January 2008). The game was indeed special with the warm reception to our very own SAF, as we see our 71 years young manager retiring from the managerial post, am sad , am sad not because united won’t do well in the future or what David moyes(his successor) would do with the team. I am extremely sad for the fact that I won’t see him in the dugout with the gums in his gums and the subtle instruction he gives, the intuition of the super substitutes at the right time at the right place to win the game. Ergo we refer to such people as GOD, and it was so touching to see all the players/managers/players from other sport across the globe gave their regard to SAF, clearly shows his impact on the football world. I am surely going to miss him for the rest of my life. My best regards to him and his family for a brighter future as a member of the board in Manchester united. Thank you for the 27 years. MANCHESTER UNITED=SIR ALEX CHAPMAN FERGUSON...god bless you sir !! salute !!!

contemplation !!

If the world was a merry go round and I just put myself out of this loop and look at what happened at that time …’bizarre’ is the word most appropriate…hell yea genuinely it was the most strange things I have encountered .Good or bad, right or wrong is not what I would like to conclude …its just how imperfect and uncertain life is around us...the most non collinear set of thoughts and emotions that have gone through this period.

In a recent blog of my friend I read about imperfections and I very much agree to all the imperfections around us...the only solution to this is to put a “conscious” thought which is without regrets and remorse above all to end all anxiety about imperfections …which I also know is the most difficult thing to do...as we all would like our instinctive action & reaction is given most priority for whatever reasons we deem it.

First of all I would like to pay my deepest condolences to my friend who passed away recently... well he was not a famous guy  in the college so people could notice him and hence know about him ..With the interactions I had with him I knew he was a nice, soft-spoken guy highly enthusiastic, played good badminton, and extremely polite...with all my limited knowledge and wisdom I don’t think he was wronged by any one nor he has done anything wrong ...so death was not something which he deserved at this point of time ..It was shocking and equally sad …

I now firmly believe with all conviction that everyone should etch it within themselves that if death is so uncertain in nature, living every moment to the fullest is the best alternative and should be the priority...
It jus left me in meditative silence that day asking myself a question...What is the use of the all the academic training that we take to secure courses few years later sacrificing everything in the present..?? What is the use of an education system which does not teach a lad how to “live” life? What s the use learn all crappy bunch of subjects obnoxiously we have today.this will  of no use to humans nor to the animals ...if tomorrow is the day...I think we should have the satisfaction and contentment of the times we had and lived it with all that we have in our hands ..!! Live live live!!!
I was taken a back ...the boy who was with us yesterday is not here today n everything was just so same n normal as if nothing happened ...I mean is there a value to a human life at all ...??? Sigh...the thought of what his parents must be going through just frightens me...and I think something must be really done…we are humans for god’s sake and we humans have to know to value...and it is the strength beyond all measures...and a virtue beyond all limits ...R.I.P my friend...find peace...

I am not a very sentimental person …but it’s just that I very recently knew what loss actually is...loss of a loved one…loss of what/who is a source of your happiness...loss of what/who makes you better person just by their very presence ...loss of what/who stands with you always no matter what…it’s this sense of loss that causes the internal hemorrhage of hopes,  promises,  visions, dreams  and so on ... It s even bitter when u cannot comprehend any reason or any sought of evidence or proof for this breakdown... UNCERTAINITY …I have always heard ‘change is the changeless thing in this universe’ I guess It’s the right time to ponder on this for awhile…

As the law of uncertainty by Heisenberg … states how the position and the momentum of an object is completely unpredictable even if any one of the quantities is known …I was at midst of this very principle …we cannot considerably argue on this because its accepted worldwide and more over because it stands true ..

The only way to stop feeling miserable about uncertainty is to stop gathering information from the outside and start gathering information from the inside and I think it’s that’s the place where u will find all your answers. There is always a reason behind all miseries, many may b beyond our comprehensive ability, but then it’s our choice to figure it out...or leave it alone...I would like to leave u with a thought to brood upon ..we all are of the same predicament …when we don’t get what we want  then we suffer …and when we get exactly what we want we still suffer because we can’t hold on to it for ever …

There is no way to happiness my dear friends, happiness is the way!!!